Oh, no! Not again! Not AT&T again!

I don't know about you, dear readers, but the news that we have to see that pesky little blue soccer ball and endure those treacly, insufferable ads about touching yourself and reaching someone (or something like that) again, gives me absolutely no cause for rejoicing. Hadn't we managed as a culture to get rid of AT&T before? Didn't that, now that you think about it, feel like a great weight off our collective shoulders? Just when we finally managed to forget the dismal customer service and those treacly, insufferable ads, well here they are again. Except that now they are trying to tell us they have become more "personable" or they're going poetic imitating e.e. cummings, for they spell their giant name at&t. How cute. They probably conducted focus groups in Podunk and heard it from the mouths of actual people, or consumers, as companies are fond of calling us humans, that the old AT&T stood for Ancient, Terrible, and Transylvanian (as in either bloodcurling or bloodsucking, depending on your experience), so they lowercased themselves to connect better with us little people. Well, I'm very upset. I was happy to live without them and I will continue to do so, even if it means an ongoing battle to keep that pesky little blue ball out of my mind.

Disclosure: Many years ago I worked for AT&T as a senior copywriter. The people I dealt with there were for the most part a loony, disorganized, epically bored and highly unreliable bunch. In fact, every time I picked up the phone and heard a ringtone I thought it was a miracle that it actually worked.