Wednesday, March 17, 2010

From the Enchilada Files: Omigod: Houston Galleria Closed on Easter Sunday

Originally published 4 years ago, every impending Easter this post gets resurrected by concerned readers, in accordance with the season. Please note the one comment. It cracks me up.

This is the most concrete example I can find on how this here country is going to the gods:
As my sister Small Enchiladita and I look forward to meet for an exciting weekend shopping trip, I get the following, very disturbed email:

NOTE: I reproduce this without her permission (and pray for forgiveness). The literary adaptation is mine:
The Galleria will be closed on Sunday 16 (Easter Sunday). I'm traumatized!!! That means that EVERYTHING is closed? If that's the case, it doesn't matter, for we shall hang out together more, but tell me it isn't so. I was so excited about going shopping. You think Target will also be closed? And Barnes and Noble? What's the deal with Easter Sunday?
I cannot begin to convey to you the utter desperation of the original Spanish of that last phrase: ¿qué pedo con Easter Sunday? Literally: What fart with Easter Sunday?
Please also note the heartrending inclusion of a bookstore.

What can I tell you, my adored, fraternal sister?
I am as disillusioned and disappointed and as flummoxed as you are.
How dare they close the Temple of Shopping on a holiday weekend? What are they thinking? Do they realize that by doing so they squash the dreams of thousands of affluent Mexicans, who dream all year long of their traditional shopping pilgrimage to the Land of Plenty?
Is it possible that Texas has become a de facto Evangelical state?
That in the birthplace of Enron the Almighty has actually become more powerful than the Almighty Dollar? The horror.
But what can you expect of a city whose international airport is named after George Bush?

We shall overcome, Enchiladita, even if it means spending all of Easter Sunday splashing around in the tiny, iffy-looking covered pool of our hotel, mixing the chlorinated water with our tears, trying hard to forget all those hours we could have spent shopping.

What the hell else is there to do in Houston, Texas?


  1. Anonymous1:23 PM

    stupid closed galleria

  2. Anonymous1:30 PM

    This post made me laugh.