Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Shrinks for Nations

I think nations need shrinks, just like people. The shrink would study the past and present behavior of the nation in question and about once a month, or depending on need, would publish some mental health advice for the nation. For each country has their very own particular mishegoss.
Shrinks would have a field day.
For instance, the shrink treating the United States would have to be an expert on bipolar disorder, and multiple personalities (and addiction, and bullying, and delusional narcissism, and an inability to deal with reality etc, etc.). He or she would help America understand that not everything is black or white, red or blue, good or evil. She or he would introduce us to the concept of gray areas. It could be very therapeutic.
The shrink treating Mexico would have to cope with self-hatred, lack of self-esteem and a tendency to rely way too much on improvisation. The shrink could ask: Why do you think you are so corrupt? Why do you treat your own citizens so shabbily? What is this about?
The shrink treating Canada would be bored to tears, since Canadians don't have problems.  
Many countries share similar issues, so shrinks could compare notes. Corruption is not the exclusive province of Mexico. Countries like Russia, China, India, would find they have a lot in common with every country in Latin America, where graft is the oil that lubricates everything. Finding that we have similar shortcomings would bring nations closer together.  There could even be group therapy for specific national conditions (all countries with big alcoholism rates, say I!, or a support group for developing countries that haven't been able to get their act together for the past 200 years).
Israel and the Arab World could benefit both from individual counseling and couples therapy. It would be painful, but they could air their respective grievances and find a middle ground, since they are sleeping in the same bed.
But the catch is that countries have to listen to the advice. They can't say they prefer to go to confession or their religion disapproves or they don't believe in shrinks. And no drug therapy. They have to do the work.

1 comment:

  1. Brava, Enchi, love this! You are one clever enchilada and deserve your own daily newspaper column, a la Ibarguengoitia in the '70s.