Hey it's April 2. Do you know where your April horoscope is? Well it's certainly not in astrologyzone, the Susan Miller online horoscope I consult at the beginning of every month (in protest, I'm not linking you to the site. Do your own homework). What is going on?
Is this a conspiracy to make us pay for the cosmic info? Is it an April fools' joke? An internet glitch? Or worse: Mercury retrograde????
Whatever it is, Susan, I do not appreciate it. I count on you to know my fate, more or less, for the coming month and you have sorely disappointed me. Now I don't know what to expect in terms of romance, or finance or work or health.
A dear friend, who hates horoscopes, tells me, oozing contempt, that she can't believe I profess to be an atheist and yet, I consult Susan Miller. Well, it just so happens that God has never told me what to expect next month, but Susan has. And eerily enough, she quite frequently nails it.
Of course, I love the fact that during the month of March, which coincidentally happens to be the month before tax murder, Susan announces that there may be an unexpected, huge, financial setback coming up. Well yeah, one third of my income going to the IRS! And weekends for some mysterious cosmic reason always tend to be the stellar days for romance (things that make you go hmmm). Yet I consult her, with a giant grain of salt, because it is uncanny. She seems to know.
So sue me.
Where's my April horoscope?