Monday, April 02, 2007

What up, Susan Miller?

Hey it's April 2. Do you know where your April horoscope is? Well it's certainly not in astrologyzone, the Susan Miller online horoscope I consult at the beginning of every month (in protest, I'm not linking you to the site. Do your own homework). What is going on?
Is this a conspiracy to make us pay for the cosmic info? Is it an April fools' joke? An internet glitch? Or worse: Mercury retrograde????
Whatever it is, Susan, I do not appreciate it. I count on you to know my fate, more or less, for the coming month and you have sorely disappointed me. Now I don't know what to expect in terms of romance, or finance or work or health.
A dear friend, who hates horoscopes, tells me, oozing contempt, that she can't believe I profess to be an atheist and yet, I consult Susan Miller. Well, it just so happens that God has never told me what to expect next month, but Susan has. And eerily enough, she quite frequently nails it.
Of course, I love the fact that during the month of March, which coincidentally happens to be the month before tax murder, Susan announces that there may be an unexpected, huge, financial setback coming up. Well yeah, one third of my income going to the IRS! And weekends for some mysterious cosmic reason always tend to be the stellar days for romance (things that make you go hmmm). Yet I consult her, with a giant grain of salt, because it is uncanny. She seems to know.
So sue me.
Where's my April horoscope?

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous11:31 PM

    Why bother checking out your astro forecast(s)? Just visit the AZ message board and I guarantee you that, no matter what ails you, you'll feel much MUCH better in no time... ;)

    I know I had no idea that SO many other people were entangled in the paltry cobwebs of SUCH a non-life (or should I say "unlife"?)!

    And talk about a "mob" mentality!
    The last time I dropped by, they were at each other's throats.
    But it makes sense, I suppose. A bunch of lone wolves (albeit disguised as lambs) have to stick together and be very protective of "their" territory... (which seems to consists of making/buying/eating pies, occasional drinking, interpreting aviary droppings and consulting them blasted Tarot cards about every single decision - oh, and hanging around the message board, of course...)

    But maybe it's better now.
    And who cares anyway?

    Susan is OK, though.
    I am not sure I really believe in astrology, but she is OK. She has been like 180 degrees off the mark more than once in my case; but, all in all, her site is a nice place to visit. (Except for the message bords, that is.) And considering all the strain from circumstances in her life, I'd even say she's doing great.

    I must say, though, that I've found M. Alan and P. Thornton to be generally more accurate.

    And oh, how I wish they weren't...