Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I have to chime in

Somebody sent me a really offensive email the other day. It was this fake letter from an Iowan asking his governor that he wants to become an illegal alien. The letter is despicable, selective in the information it presents, misinformed and racist.
As much as I loathe to reprint these lies, I do it so you can see what people with a diminished capacity in their brains do with their time. I'm sure all those All-American right wing assholes are congratulating themselves for such an example of what passes for wit in their moronic circles.

Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance.
I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal Alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted.
If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively, if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert Burlington

Get Your Forms NOW!! Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040.
Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!!!!

Here is my response:

Ask this asshole if once he becomes an illegal alien he will be willing to cut his own grass, care for his own children, clean his own house and pick his own food, without health insurance and for less than the minimum wage.
Then he can become an illegal alien.

The immigration bill is extremely complicated and nobody really understands it, but it is not a good bill. It is a political bill, not a practical bill, and therefore it sucks. It is a bill that appeases the assholes who are against amnesty, but it doesn't really do that much for the millions of illegal families that work hard in this country, doing the jobs that no one else wants.
This editorial from the NY Times explains why the bill is mean-spirited.

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