A freeform fashion rant

I'm sitting in a hipster cafe in Williamsburg which is not as bad as I'd like it to be. It is quite cozy, the music selection is eclectic (although the minute I thought the blues they were playing were great, they immediately switched to Run DMC's Greatest Hits just to show me how obnoxious they can be when they put their mind to it). Their wi-fi works beautifully. They have a fantastic almond croissant and decent chamomile tea. Still, what is it that bugs me about this place? I guess it's what bugs me about Williamsburg in general, which is the peeps. Now, to be fair, I'm an equal opportunity misanthrope, and I feel no warmer for Park Slopers, Upper or West Siders, anybody from Queens, or anybody else from anywhere, really, except Downtown, which is where I hail from. But Billyburg hipsters annoy me particularly, even though they must be all nice and concerned about the environment.
Williamsburg gamines: I fail to see the point of wearing skirts on top of pants, and pants badly stuffed inside cowboy boots. I fail to see the point of cowboy boots. I fail to see the point of those horrid raven-colored Betty Page haircuts. Can we stop the vintage look? It's as if the armoire of your dead spinster aunt from Duluth fell on top of you.
I also hate things that you'd never see a Billyburger wear, such as Ugg boots, lowrider jeans with the thong sticking out, extremely pointy shoes, extremely round toed shoes, Marc Jacobs bags, and Marc Jacobs clothes in general, which look to me like what somebody would wear fresh out of a lobotomy in the fifties.
I absolutely loathe anything with a logo. People who dress themselves like the contents of a fake bag store on Mott Street should be arrested. I do not appreciate the fact that thanks to the trashy likes of Britney Spears and Tara Reid and Paris Hilton (aren't they all one and the same?), it is now customary for women to look like hookers from the Florida Panhandle. There is no allure, no romance, no mystery, no elegance anymore.
Methinks, dear readers, the world has become a hideously vulgar place.