Friday, November 10, 2006

Department of Not A Moment Too Soon

• Rummy
• Britney and K-Fed

And that stupid-ass musical The Times They Are A Changing on Broadway.
Excuse me, but from the first moment I heard it mentioned as a notion, I thought it was the stupidest idea I've ever heard, as offensive as Springtime for Hitler, but with far less possibilities of success.
Why? Why would anybody think that Bob Dylan songs set to tacky dancers is something that works on a stage?
It is what my friend Orlando Leal calls "Inventicide". A suicidal invention. An idea so bad, everybody knows it's suicidal but they go ahead and do it anyway, only to confirm it sucks.
I never saw the Dylan show but I hate it for everything it stands for and I knew it was going to blow.
Why? The Billy Joel show was a piece of revolting crap, and I am being kind. I confess I saw it because I had friends from out of town and that's what they chose. I want to sue the critics who liked it for cruel and unusual punsihment and causing me mental anguish and painful embarrassment I have not been able to shake since. I don't know what they were smoking. Yet Billy Joel at least has enough of a tacky quotient to work on Broadway, for a Broad crowd with a Broad common denominator. Bob Dylan is another story.
Now, as much as I admire some of Dylan's music and his genius, it is pretty clear that the guy is an asshole. So if he can sell his music to sell Victoria's Secret bras and should not expect us to have a conniption about that, he must have thought wtf, I'll just whore myself out wholesale on Broadway.
Why, Bob? Need the money? Didn't you see what the freakishly overrated Miss Tharp did to poor Billy Joel?
Except for the heroic working stiffs who had to make this clunker work every night, I hope everybody else involved in this idiotic show lost their shirts. They deserve financial ruin.

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