Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Rats!

OK. I am at my normal news watching position at the treadmill, which I insist on watching without sound for the added suspense, when all of a sudden, I see footage of rats rampaging through a restaurant that looks very familiar and kind of close to where I live.
1. I almost had a heart attack and fell off the treadmill, it was so disgusting.
You can knock out yourself on You Tube, where the footage has been gleefully running ever since.
2. This was at the KFC/TacoBell (serves them right) on 6th Ave and W 3rd St. A hop a skip and a jump away from ma maison. So as my neighbor Glenn told me, now that they get rid of the rats over there, they are all going to come live over here. He neglected to mention the rats that already make our garden building home. More rats.
This is my point: this KFC/Taco Bell is a metaphor for the entire city of New York, make no mistake about it. It is miraculous that given the amount of rats in this city, we don't get to share a communal table with them at dim sum, or stand in the line for pizza together, or sit next to them at the movies (I am always afraid of the dark, and now particularly of the dark at the IFC center).
Just today I saw a very dead rat on the subway tracks: it was the size of a truck. It was obese.
Yet, apartments in New York cost zillions of dollars to rent or buy while we live in a rat infested town. This is insane to me.
I say if we have to share the space with rats, and if it is indeed true that there are seven rats per person in this town, either they start paying higher prices or we get substantial discounts. We should pay much less for housing, who cares about the zen garden and the communal wine rack and all that crap if you have to share it with rats? What good is a 2 million dollar puny studio when your roommates may be rats, or when you step outside your door in your newly gentrified neighborhood and there they are, your friendly neighborhood rats.
As for the City Council getting "symbolically" rid of the n-word and curbing pedicabs, I have a better idea, you sorry nincompoops: get rid of the rats first.
Mayor zillionaire Bloomberg with all your newfangled schemes to turn this city into Peoria: GET RID OF THE RATS, everywhere.

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:44 AM

    I am not from NY. I am not even American. What is "the n-word"?

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  2. My dear non American. The n-word is a n extremely pejorative and offensive word formerly used by white racists to define blacks. Now it is used by blacks to define themselves, but if you are not black you better not be using the n-word. I'm sure, wherever you come from, if you've heard a rap song, you've probably heard it. I find that blacks can do whatever they want with their heritage. The word belongs to them, as terrible as it is. I have no intention of repeating it here. But use your amazing powers of deduction or go to urbandictionary.com and you may find the answer.

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