I just had to comment

I feel guilty for spending time and energy and electricity doing this, but if they put this on the cover of the NY Times Magazine, they got it coming to them.

Emily:
I write a blog. However, it has never crossed my mind to share with my readers any aspect of my love life or my urinary tract infections; topics that you may be surprised to know are of no interest to anybody, no matter how fascinating they may seem to you. Instead, I share my opinions and values on sundry topics larger than my own puny life. This strategy has worked for me insofar as I have not had any panic attacks nor a need for psychological counseling. Perhaps the internet is not the right forum for you to air your boring laundry (at least if it was truly dirty, you'd be offering your readers some entertainment value).
Your long, sophomoric, tedious piece is also, alas, transparently self-serving, and worse of all, utterly charmless. This absurd confessional culture is useless when the people doing the "confessing" are vapid, immature, self-involved narcissists who think the world revolves around them and their boyfriends.
You are supposedly a smart woman.
Write something smart, for a change.