Today, I'm walking down Broadway when two fat black teenage girls bursting out of their jeans like lard exploding from a casing, (and not on the young side of teen either) throw an empty bottle of juice on the sidewalk, right by a Halal food vendor. Totally willfully. Just like that. So I say to them, "excuse me guys, you dropped something".
To which one replies, "we know".
I say, "it's garbage, pick it up".
She says, "you pick it up".
I say "pigs", and continue on my way. Halal vendor picks it up (I think).
I don't have the energy (nor the balls perhaps) to start a pissing match with two hippos with attitude. For the next five minutes I feel like running after them and getting into an all out fight, which would probably leave me the consistency of pureed squash.
So here is my fantasy: I take out a gun, point it at the temple of one of them and make them kneel and pick up not only the bottle but any trash that is lying on that block of Broadway. I put the gun all the way inside the mouth of the one with the lip. Cock the gun. Then I make them apologize and promise not to litter ever again.
Dirty Judy. City Avenger.
C'mon, punks. Make my day.