Boy, does the world suck today

A quick scan of the headlines today was enough to make me gag:
1. CNN reports that fetuses and newborns are found regularly in Zimbabwe's sewers. Sorry to rain on your parade, dear readers, but the world is crap indeed. Meanwhile, Condi Rice is too busy going after Hugo "Showman Extraordinario" Chavez, claiming he is a danger to Latin American democracies. Maybe we should stop carping about freaking democracy for two full seconds and turn our gaze to godforsaken countries like Zimbabwe, where the situation is so hellish people are literally throwing their babies down the drain. People are so poor that they can't buy soap to wash things so they do it with sand, clogging the sewers; they brush their teeth with salt. What the fuck are we doing about that, eh?
2. A Muslim cleric asshole has promised a one million dollar reward (which I bet he doesn't even have) to whoever kills the "cartoonist" that drew those stupid doodles that are going to start WWIII any minute now. He didn't even know that there was more than one Scandinavian clueless doodler. Meanwhile, the sorry, ignorant men who live in dire poverty in Islamabad are happily throwing rocks, burning and looting, whatever. Apparently these people have no concept of "old hat".
3. The NYT reports on the smug, creepy musings of Wal-Mart's CEO on his confidential webpage to employees. The guy accuses a manager of disloyalty and basically suggests he should find work elsewhere for bringing up the question of why Wal-Mart's employees can't have a less stingy medical retirement benefit package. Meanwhile this creep makes 17 million dollars a year and travels around the world in a private jet trying to dispel the popular notion that Wal-Mart is a dreadful company that abuses its employees routinely in the name of profits and low prices. They better not come to New York.
4. There was a terrible mudslide in the Philipines that covered an entire village. It looks real bad.
5. The whites in New Orleans are going ahead with Mardi Gras as planned. The blacks may not be able to reach home in time for the festivities. I quote the NYT:
"Fewer than half of the city's 465,000 residents have returned from the storm-induced diaspora — but more are coming home every day, and faster than expected. Still, many black residents are absent, suggesting a demographic and cultural shift in the offing for a city that now has more whites than blacks for the first time in decades. The city government has no money, but chic restaurants hummed for Valentine's Day. About half the city's traffic lights remain out of order, but those working along Magazine Street control the growing traffic in Uptown". Business as usual, it seems.
6. I saw a picture of the Olsen twins.