Sleazebag nation

I have been trying to control the urge to publish this for months, but I think it's time my loyal readers knew that there are unrepentant sleazebags in this world who prey on professional, decent people like yours truly for only a fistful of dollars. Beware of people who don't pay for the work they commission. You will fall into a vortex of sleaze that will leave you shaken and soiled and make you feel like you stink of human rot.
There is a certain porcine, disgustingly obese sociopath liar who neglected to pay me for a translation I did for him in record time and on deadline. He didn't pay me for more than six months and when I complained, he said I was breaking his balls. He sent a bad check and I had to pay for the bounced fee. He claimed that he had mailed the check to me three times and there was something wrong with my mail, as if my mailbox had caught the cooties, something that nobody who ever sends me bills to pay or junk mail has ever had any reason to complain about.
It was not and it is not about the money, which was in the low three figures. It was and it is about the principle. If you ask people to perform a job for you and you agree to pay them, you must make good on that agreement when they deliver.
So I hired a collection agency and they promised to collect. I was hoping they would do it Joe Pesci style, with a baseball bat and twirling around some heavy chains, like I dreamed of doing myself. But I did not inquire about their methods.
So finally today I get a check from the collection agency, where they have subtracted the commission they charge for collecting the money. And lo and behold, the check is not made to my name and it is not signed. The fat fuck must have coughed up the dough somehow and I'm hoping that this egregious mistake by the collection guys is an honest one. As you can imagine, I have a bad feeling about it. But the lesson I have learned is that sleazebags are contagious, and they soil and smear everything that is remotely connected to them with their filthy, excremental paws.