Depressing Digest

Darlings:
I've been scouring the interwebs since early this morning, trying to find a topic to entertain you with, and nothing sticks. Perhaps I should remember what I always forget when I go out at night: that beer after white wine is evil in the morning.

• Mini-hangover notwithstanding, I am relieved that the stock market went up, but tomorrow may be a different story. I find it ironic that for all the Republicans' hysterical obsession against big government's interference in free markets and the unbridled rapacity of our particular form of capitalism, the Bush administration has now been compelled to nationalize mortgage lenders and insurance companies. Are we turning socialist? Is America trembling at the prospect of a little regulation to curb our greediest impulses? Is the American can screw spirit in peril? I certainly hope so.
As I'm fond of saying, I became a Marxist the minute I moved to this country. (I'm being hyperbolic, ok?)

• It looks like the Treasury and the Fed are being the deciders in this crisis, which is reassuring, since our president has been missing in action. What a pathetic loser. I'm almost starting to feel sorry for him. Almost.

• The BBC reports that Chuck Hagel, a big Republican macher, told the esteemed Omaha World-Herald that Sarah Palin is unfit for office. Great, except that I looked to see if the New York Times covered this momentous piece of news, and I couldn't find it. I hope this Hagel shoutout is covered by similar local newspapers across the red states.

• By the way, the Times has an electoral map of the US and a look at it is enough to make one suicidal and deeply fearful of the electoral college. It makes one pine for New York's secession.

• I'm going to say something horrible. (I'm starting to hit my stride, y'all):
Several friends sent me the pictures of the largest rally ever in Alaska, which happened to be an anti-Palin rally (yay). I was a bit disappointed by the size of the crowd. Apparently, the largest mass rally in Alaska means like 15 people and their closest friends. The signs were too clever by half and some of the people looked like classic clueless liberals, the kind the evil people on the other side like to make fun of. I know I sound like a traitor to the cause, but it would be great if these worthy demonstrators were dressed like those crazy polygamists from Texas (those with a penchant for wearing pastel draperies from Wal-Mart). Instead, they look like pinkos from Vermont. I have the nagging feeling that these pics don't help. Also, what is the point of preaching to the choir? I don't think I have a single Republican friend, so what is the point of me sending this to all the other Obamanians? I know we elitist blue people are despairing and anything that gives us hope is welcome, but I was not as cheered up by those pictures as I should have been.