Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Read it and weep

Some machiavellian spin devil has come up with the idea of having politicians, members of congress, presidential candidates, etc, "write" a book, so we all know that they are actually human.
Apparently, POTUS is the latest. He didn't write it, since he is incapable. But he did give a number of interviews to a journalist. The book is called Dead Certain, which I don't know if it's funny or creepy or both. So without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen, here are some chicken mcnuggets of wisdom from the President of the United States:

"I've got God's shoulder to cry on. And I cry a lot. I do a lot of crying in this job. I'll bet I've shed more tears than you can count, as president. I'll shed some tomorrow."

Let us know at what time tomorrow, so we can count them. Let's see if there are as many tears as Iraqi civilians and American soldiers killed and wounded in Iraq.

He also said: "I do tears".

Well, guess what? I do vomit. And I do pipi and caca.
What the hell kind of language is this for the leader of the free world?

Apparently, decisions in the Bush White House are made like they are in kindergarten, with a simple show of hands, like: who wants peanut butter and jelly? Who wants tuna fish?

Draper tells of an April 2006 dinner at which Bush asked aides for a show of hands on whether his divisive defense secretary, Donald H. Rumsfeld, should be fired. The vote: 7-4 to get rid of him, with Bush siding with those who wanted him kept on for the time being. Rumsfeld was replaced after the elections that fall switched control of the House and Senate to Democrats. White House aides who wanted Rumsfeld out were privately dismayed when retired generals called publicly for his ouster, fearing that would steel Bush's resolve to keep his defense chief, the book says. Bush, without addressing that meeting, suggested to the author that the ex-generals did get under his skin.
"My reaction was, 'No military guy is gonna tell a civilian how to react,'" he said.

Exactly. Why listen to the generals? And there's more:
• Said he wants to make money — "replenishing the ol' coffers" — after his presidency. He said he could make "ridiculous" money on the lecture circuit, citing the experience of his predecessor, Bill Clinton, as well as his own father.

Bush sample lecture: I do shit. I do farts. I do pee. I do jokes. I do God.

And finally:

"I wouldn't be president if I kept drinking. You get sloppy, can't make decisions, it clouds your reason, absolutely."
Oy.

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