Thursday, October 11, 2007

Bite Me

Soon we won't be able to make fun of bad British teeth anymore. America is going to be a land of people with bad teeth, and if that is not a sure omen of the Decline and Fall of the American Empire, I don't know what is. According to the NYT, this country is going through a serious dental crisis, while dentists are laughing all the way to the bank.
When I was a little girl travelling here from Enchilada Land, I was always amazed at the whiteness and straightness and perfection of the American mouth. People had teeth as white and strong as the cliffs of Dover and they made sure they showed them to you, luckily with a smile, at the slightest provocation. My mother used to say it was due to the good American milk, not the watery stuff that we drank in Mexico.
Alas, good American teeth may soon become an icon from the past, like three martini lunches, Marilyn Monroe standing on a grate and other great long gone American inventions.
Just another sign that we are going down the drain, people.
The article claims that lots of people don't have dental insurance and they let their teeth go to seed. But I bet it is more than that. Show me a person who enjoys going to the dentist (who is not a demented pervert). Going to the dentist is hateful, even if you happen to have a nice dentist with a soft touch. So lots of people with seemingly healthy teeth just don't go. And who can blame them?
Dentistry has got to be one of the most unglamorous professions out there, (when I think of two things I couldn't possibly do for a living, one is dentistry and the other is flight attendant) but they do make out like bandits. And why shouldn't they? Would you like to stick your hands on people's stinky mouths all day long?
And what's with the drill? Do dentists not hear that torturing, screeching sound? Are dentists secret sadists?

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