Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Deafening Noise

Is it me going insane, or is New York City increasingly noisy? Is it that I'm aging or is there more noise from trucks and construction and honking and idiots in Harleys and restaurants who think they are discos and more people who have to scream above the infernal din than ever before?
Seriously, I'm thinking of buying myself a pair of noise-cancelling headphones, yes, the ones with the huge earplugs, and walking around Manhattan with them on my head at all times. In the winter, they will double as earmuffs.
I want to take Mayor Bloomberg on a noise tour of Manhattan. It really is fucking frightening. You can't have a normal conversation on the street, it's so noisy. It is a miracle that someone doesn't lose it and starts blasting people away (which frankly is my dearest fantasy). Every time a cabbie honks, I want to strangle them. Forget about air guitar. I have a high-powered, state of the art air rifle and I wield it every time I get blasted with a honk, or the idling engine of the ice cream truck, or the unholy noise trucks make.
Whatever happened to that plan to have noise regulations in this town? Restaurants should be fined if their music surpasses a certain amount of decibels, making their diners scream for their dinner. They amp up the volume because it makes people more anxious which in turn makes them drink more booze. It is a fact. So don't give me that holier than thou trans fat bullshit and the smoking ban. Do something about the freaking noise. It's driving me crazy.

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