Monday, August 27, 2007

I hate bed and breakfasts

I hate small country inns. I'd rather stay at a Motel 6.
I know I must be in a small minority of one. But quaint B&Bs and small country inns give me the absolute creeps.
1. I'm not in love with chintz. And in these places, for the most part, everything is chintz. Everything is too precious, too Laura Ashley. Makes me uncomfortable. I truly despise quaint.
2. There is no sense of privacy. You are basically living in the house of some strangers. They look at you funny. They wonder if you are going to smoke crack on their beds and set them on fire or leave your chewing gum or snot under it.
3. Everybody feels compelled to whisper at all hours. As if not to disturb the corpse in the next room?
4. You have to meet other strangers for breakfast. Eew.
Give me an anonymous, clean motel any day. Or, if you can afford it, a fabulous luxury resort. That, I could love.


  1. I actually stayed at a B&B recently in South Carolina and I *swear to God* I had the best homemade waffles with freshly squeezed oj on this side of heaven (should I ever get there, that is). And, strangely, we met two northeastern/NY types who were friendly! I think you should try a B&B in the South since you'll also get a lot of local lore with your breakfast - like it or not, it's part of the culture.

    ** But you're always entitled to your own opinions.....

  2. Anonymous5:02 PM

    I agree with you completely. I also hate bed and breakfasts. They are absolutely creepy. They usually smell like a nursing home. And they always have weird little rules. I stayed in one in Arizona near the Grand Canyon where the woman told us as soon as we walked in the door that we had to take our shoes off and could not wear them inside anywhere. She was Phillipino and had a stack of nasty guest slippers at the door for all their guests to wear in her house. I was offended. If I would have known that we would have been subjected to that, I would NEVER have stayed there. That is the thing about bed and breakfasts, it is someone's private little house and you never know what their weird rule will be. It is like having to spend the night at your neighbor's house--YUCK. And guess what she fed us for breakfast--waffles with banana and mashed banana compote and ice cream. OMG. Seriously? Disgusting. I'm not diabetic but I thought I was going to go into a diabetic coma from the sugar overload. And mashed banana compote? WTF? I am not kidding you. She cooked up some sort of banana syrup using mashed bananas and sugar and who knows what? Corn syrup maybe? And there was nothing else to put on the waffles.

    I've never had a good breakfast at a B n B. It is also some nasty concoction of something that the B n B owner saw cooked up by Martha Stewart or some such. 99% of the time breakfast is a horrid offering of amateur rubbish. Why does everyone think they can cook like a chef? Just like everyone thinks they would make a great teacher I guess.

    I especially hate the pathetic little bed and breakfasts in Ireland. You are so much better off most of the time staying at a clean american chain hotel in the UK than those hideous bed and breakfasts. My fiance and I make fun of bad motels now by asking if they offer a full Irish breakfast. Ha ha. If you have ever traveled Ireland and stayed in a Irish hotel or bed and breakfast, then you will know what we are talking about.

    On the food scale, B n B food made me upgrade McDonalds from a 1 to a 2 because B n B food gets the 1 spot.

    By the way, if we were traveling in Japan or another asian country, I would have expected to encounter the issue of taking my shoes off inside and would have brought my own slippers (asian countries have the absolute worst forms of athlete foot fungus strains for some reason). I do not like wearing any footwear another person has worn. Nothing worse than foot fungus. But I did not expect to have to do this in Arizona.

    All in all, my fiance and I tried the whole B n B thing and I will NEVER stay in one again because most of the time it is a lot of money for a very mediocre (at best) experience.

  3. Anonymous9:38 PM

    OMG, my husband and I could not agree more, not that we had a horrible experience at our 1st and only B&B in Erie, PA but it was just weird! We dont like being forced to have breakfast with strangers and we don't like having to take short showers or feeling creepy if we want a drink of water in the middle of the night and yes, the whispers and being asked if we went back out at night!...even though the hostess seemed nice, I had a feeling we were a little on the young side(our 40s)to stay there!lol oh well, we take a hotel room anytime!