Thursday, May 25, 2006

The New York Virus

Recently I've talked to several people that have been attacked by some kind of 24 hour illness similar to what I kvetched about a couple of weeks ago. I've decided that this is a virus that behaves in a typical New York fashion and therefore is a virus indigenous to NY. This virus settles in quickly, and soon makes its presence felt like a surprise visit from your neighborhood friends, the Mafia. You start by feeling chills and body aches and then you are either barfing or with the runs. It gives you an evil headache and your body feels as if it had been stuffed into a duffel bag and dumped down a craggy mountain. You have a fever and you can barely move your joints. Yet less than 24 hours later it is gone, probably looking for more New Yorkers to pester. No thank you note. Nada. Rude bastard.
People to see, places to go. It's not a virus that lingers for 7 to 10 days, like some Mexican viruses I know that make themselves at home in your body for a nice, long stretch, like obnoxious house guests that overstay their welcome. Not the NY virus. Get out of its way, don't hog the sidewalks, and move your ass already, 'cause it's busy. So much to do, so little time. NEXT!

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