Thursday, August 17, 2006


Ahmadinejad: Hitler wannabe
Kim Jong Il: Spielberg wannabe
Fidel Castro: Batista wannabe
Hugo Chavez: Fidel wannabe
AMLO: Hugo Chavez wannabe
George Bush: Dick Cheney wannabe
Dick Cheney: Darth Vader wannabe
Iraq War: Vietnam wannabe, only worse.

No doubt you have seen the images of Fidel being lovingly cared for at the hospital by his friend, savior and imitator, Hugo Chavez, both wearing identical red Santa Claus shirts and eating what looks like yogurt but I bet it's each others' own creamy semen.

In any case, the totalitarian mindset is always inextricably linked to the absurd. Witness the Soviet Union and its satellites, or North Korea or Iran, or Nazi Germany, where the persecution of intelligence plus the cult of personality are taken to cosmic extremes of surrealism, usually conjoined with pure evil.
In the case of tropical communism, the absurdity has a tinge of lambada to it. It is certainly more folkloric and less humorless than its Eastern European or Korean counterparts. But it is transparently inane.
Fidel is in no way different than the dictator he deposed: monarchic, oligarchic and a bastard on wheels. Chavez is a hoot, except when he starts being friends with really terrible people, like Hitler wannabe Mahmoud and other rogue bullies in dubious ex-communist countries, and AMLO is a tropical pest of epidemic proportions, one of those larva that burrow under your skin.
Fidel at least is machiavellian and immortal. Chavez is astute and kind of simpatico, in a genuinely embarrasing way. But AMLO seems to be suspended in a stage of arrested development, like he never made it past the terrible twos. Like an obnoxious, incontrollable child, he doesn't seem to have any saving graces. Tyrannical, bullying, tantrumy, and unreasonable. Now tell me, even those who claim to like him, if at this point they can still believe that the man can be the president of Mexico.
Chabelo* is more mature than him. Chabelo for President!

*Chabelo is a character of a child played by a middle aged man in shorts and suspenders. To anybody unfamiliar with the theater of the absurd that is Mexico, he's kind of creepy, but Mexicans are blissfully unaware of that. We love him.

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